Sunday, August 3, 2014

Leaving Singapore!

This is it. We are finally leaving. Seven years (plus...) in Singapore. Four years in this apartment. We came here in our twenties, we're leaving in our late thirties...with two kids...and a cat...

No more amazing Thai and Indian food whenever I want it (most likely).
Small chance that there will be at least six temples within a five minute walk from my house.
No more swimming year-round (most likely).
No more weekend galavants to Bali, Lombok or Thai beaches.

But on the other hand...
No more sweating through my clothes EVERY SINGLE DAY.
No more awful hair days. EVERY DAY.
No more 24-30 hour flight with little kids (ok - one more, but that's IT!).
No more $8 for a small block of cheese or $8 for a tiny container of cottage cheese.
No more missing major family simchas.

While I have been fairly vocal (to friends and family, not necessarily on this blog) on wanting to leave for the last few years, I still feel very ambivalent about the decision. We are fully leaving because I/we want to be closer to family and close friends. Once Sam was born, and I understood how hard it was to help her build a relationship with the people who need to matter in her life, Singapore got SO MUCH farther away. 

We have had amazing professional opportunities here - both of us. Matt has been in the same job that moved us out here, and he has absolutely loved it. He has learned so much, met amazing people, done some incredibly unique travel and overall just had a very very good experience. I was lucky enough to have done a top MBA program and join a huge and growing institution where I learned so much, and it was a job that I probably wouldn't have gotten in the US, as there probably would have been someone with more relevant experience. We are not necessarily moving home for better professional opportunities (but we may find them!).

We have built an incredible community here. We met people through loads of different ways - connected through friends in the US, through the Jewish community, through work, through our kids, our condo...and these friends have become our family here (and also they WERE our family and then left...which is another reason I didn't want to stay anymore! It's so hard to watch good friends leave every year). As ex-pats, we were looking for community. We needed friends to do holidays with, to celebrate birthdays with, to hangout with on the weekends to call when we were struggling with something or needed to know the best place to find some random thing. I have put a lot into my relationships with people here, and I have gotten a lot back. It will be very hard to leave some of the key people in my life here in Singapore. I/we have never felt lonely here.

On the other hand, we will now be able to go to Michigan for the big Jewish holidays, Thanksgiving, big birthdays and simchas, Michigania...we will be able to take road trips and visit our best friends and watch our kids play together. We will find a new home, plant some roots and live an American life. There are plenty of parts of an American life that scare me (expensive and confusing health care, guns, liability crap...), but when we dreamed of a life for our family, it included extended family on a regular basis, the outdoors (more than what is possible with the heat here), volunteering, a Jewish community that we feel comfortable in (not that we didn't feel comfortable in the one here, but Jewishly it was never what we were looking for), a garden...I'm open to a life that isn't like this - I have been living it for the last few years - but I at least want to TRY what it's like in America.

We have had a really good experience here in Singapore. We have traveled to incredible places. Seen amazing things. Eaten the tastiest food. Had fun times both here and on our trips. We will always look back on this experience as a positive one. Samara and Elie will always be (made and) "born in Singapore." It will be woven into our identities in a way that we don't yet know - as a family, as professionals, in many ways.

What do I do with this blog? I started it in May, 2007, when Matt had moved to Singapore and I hadn't yet come. (Matt just said, "remember when it was going to be OUR blog?"). I had never blogged before, but I wanted to document our experience and also have a way for people to read about our life without me spamming them with emails. I have loved having this blog. It has helped me sort through many experiences and issues in the last seven years, and indeed it is a fantastic documentation of what we have done and how it has worked for us. I have been extremely honest. I definitely was funnier at the beginning (life got heavier? who knows!)...but overall it has given me a reason to look critically at many parts of Singapore and our life here. I suppose I could keep up blogging to help with the transition back to the US - I'm guessing there will be some really challenging parts. I suppose that is also part of the Asia experience. Who knows. Maybe once I'll be there I won't need it or see it relevant anymore (when I was just in the US for three months I had a hard time thinking of subjects...). This is also yet to be determined.

Logistics: we are moving out of our apartment on 18 August. (The apartment where we brought home our two children...). We are most likely flying out on the 20th. We have to sort out getting our cat out. We want to travel, but we're not going to do it here (Asia) or now (August). Too much going on. We are moving to Michigan for the time being. We will stay with our parents. We are enrolling Sam in school there. Most likely we will not stay in Michigan, but we will see where life takes us!

In other news...

Samara is finally better, though she still has a bad cough. She's finishing her antibiotics tomorrow, and she is fully functional again. Phew - a week off school is BRUTAL on me!!

Elie has been super sick. He has had a fever since Tuesday, and he is SO congested. He can barely breastfeed, his nose is running constantly, he has an awful cough, doctor said his ears are full of fluid. Oy. Poor guy. He is on his second day of antibiotics and he's also using a nebulizer. If he follows Sam then tomorrow he should be better. His naps were better today and he slept through the night last night, so hopefully he's on the upswing.

Being home and with the two kids this week was a wee bit rough for me. I have been selling much of our furniture (anyone looking for a beautiful dark wood TV console? 32"TV? Big white rug? Changing table/dresser?) and coordinating a bunch of things in addition to regular daily cleaning, cooking and shopping...so having everyone at home and needy was hard on me (I know...boo hoo mom...poor you...), but I was also sick. Today is my first day in three weeks and one day with no sore throat! Yippee, though, it's gone.

Movers came to get our big white chair, dining table and day bed this week.

The big white chair is the chair in which I breastfed Sam and in which we have read countless books to her.

The dining table is where we hosted tons of shabbat dinners, holiday dinners and had many important conversations.

The day bed is where our parents and all guests slept when they came to visit in the past four years, and it is a beautiful piece of furniture.

I was super sad to lose them all (but it didn't make sense to bring any of them back).

Yeah - it will be a nostalgic end. It's been a long time! And overall, it's really been great.

1 comment:

Dodge said...

We welcome you with open arms! We're so excited!