Sunday, February 26, 2012

Couch Potato Traveller

My child has probably watched TV 80% of the last two days. Judge me all you want. We didn't use drugs, which we did consider.

Samara and I, along with my mom, flew from New York to Frankfurt and then to Singapore. A total of 24 hours, 28 door to door, and this is the first time that Samara's attention span included more than 2 minutes at a time of TV. Holy awesomeness. It changed our whole experience. Yes - my daughter was sitting on the seat, watching the same (ONE!) Elmo video that Singapore Airlines had in their system, eating potato chips out of a bag, giggling. I was explaining to the German couple next to us what a couch potato is.

All in all, though, Samara was amazing. I had more anxiety about this trip than...well I'm not sure what, but I really couldn't think about it before we left - travelling with a child this age is just completely not fun.

I had decided that we would go to New York the day before our trip to Singapore for two reasons - it would break up - remove about six hours from - the long trip, and also if there was winter weather or whatever, and our flight from Detroit was delayed, we would have another day to play with before our separate ticket back to Singapore. While we had a fabulous time in New York eating burgers, bagels and knishes and visiting Ellen and Davey, Eli, the whole Shiovitz clan (minus David), Jeremy, Terese and actually prolonged our trip. My amazing sleeper (my pediatrician has warned me that I'm not allowed to talk about sleeping with other moms) woke up EVERY hour and wouldn't sleep at all from 2:30 - 4:30am. This was Sam's SECOND night of her life where she wouldn't just SLEEP (the first was at Michigania). It was miserable. She ended up sleeping in bed with me and Savta. Oy ya yoy. This meant that I barely slept Thursday night, and our flight was at 8pm on Friday night - arriving on Sunday morning. That's three full nights of not sleeping. BRUTAL. I thought about not going back. I thought about just sending Sam with my mom. I thought about drinking a lot on the plane. Possibly locking myself in the bathroom. But in the end, Sam was amazing. She had about a total of 5-7 minutes of meltdown (which is pretty good for a 1.5 year old on a 24 hour journey).

From NY to Frankfurt we had two extra seats, and we could raise the armrest for her to sleep on the seat. Unfortunately I couldn't sleep, because she nearly rolled off twice, and I had to peer at her every couple of minutes (that whole maternal instinct thing is super inconvenient when you want to just sleep). She slept for about three hours on that flight, and she watched Elmo and played the rest. In Frankfurt she ran around like a crazy woman. She then slept in the ergo for about an hour until they made me take her out for take-off - and then she fell asleep in my lap (unheard of). She literally spent the whole next flight watching the same 45 minute show. She had a few runs up and down the aisle and up and down the stairs (thank the lord for spacious A380s), and she appreciated a good game of peek-a-boo with the people around us, but really - she was unbelievable.

Now - all I want to do is sleep. For a week. Good night.

Sunday, February 19, 2012


Since my last entry, all has been going really well. On Monday Sam and I went with my parents to Florida for three days. It was Sam's first time in Florida, second time seeing my grandparents and it was my first time in Florida since I moved to Singapore. When we first moved to Singapore we thought it was Florida, but with a lot more Chinese people. It turns out it's not that similar, but it was more pleasant than I had remembered. The weather was not as hot (at ALL) as Singapore, like you can do stuff outside! Also, while it all looks equally fake and manicured, Florida is so much more spread out and spacious. Also the wildlife - really just the birds - were totally amazing in Florida.

Overall, the point of the trip was only to spend time with Grandma and Grandpa and give them time with Sam. We spent a lot of time walking around their driveway and around the clubhouse across the street. Sam got her first (and second) skinned knee. She learned all about different rocks, wood chips, pavements, lawn ornaments. She learned about crossing the street. She really enjoyed seeking out geckos. She looked for them everywhere and yelled "gecko!!"

While she was suspicious at first, Sam was very excited about Grandma's food. She wouldn't part with her waffle for anything. She held on TIGHT! She loved potato kugel, cheese blintzes and she even drank her borscht!! It was crazy. She's a true Jewish baby. Don't forget that she also loves other types of kugel and challah - and those are some of her only foods.

Grandma and Grandpa loved having Sam around. Grandpa loved watching her the most, and Grandma was really able to take care of her and play with her. Sam liked to take her hand and show her where she wanted to go.

We visited a bird conservation area and also the Palm Beach Zoo (expensive but a fun thing to do). Sam loved the zoo - she pointed to all the animals and was quite excited about some of them.

I think this was Sam's 30th and 31st flights (if I counted correctly), and the one on the way back was her worst. She wouldn't sleep, and she was literally throwing herself around in a difficult way. Lots of screaming. Sucked for everyone around us. I'm hoping our trip back to Singapore is much much easier, considering it's about 7 times as long.

We got back on Thursday night, and on Friday morning at 7:30, I had a flight to NY to check in with my doctor. He said that the surgery was successful, so that was REALLY good news. While there I got to see a few friends and also went to eat at my favorite cafe in the West Village, and it was CLOSED! Good news is that I just looked it up, and it has three other locations in NY, and I didn't know! (Grey Dog Cafe). We'll have to check that out next time...

Now, I woke up this morning at 4:15, yesterday at 4:45 and the day before at 5:30, so I'm a tired disaster, but we are in one place until Thursday, so we will do a lot of sitting around, which is good!

Sam's current words include:
cream cheese
grilled cheese (cheese cheese)
all done
oh dear
banana (nana)
grapes (that's my fav - grapeseses)

She understands soooo much - it's totally weird, but it's so much more fun!

Sunday, February 12, 2012


Saturday, February 11, 2012


I am feeling much much better since my surgery 2.5 weeks ago. Sam and I had planned to go to Toronto, but after the surgery, we weren't so sure. We decided to make a fairly last minute decision, to see how I'm feeling. It's pretty sad, but I actually preferred to be in Canada where they have good and affordable healthcare - unlike the US - and with my friend who's a nurse, rather than staying in Michigan. I was feeling strong enough to take Sam, but I was a little nervous about the whole thing.

My mom drove me and Sam to the train station in Windsor, and we took the four hour train to Toronto. Sam slept a bit, read lots of books, played with all her toys, walked up and down the aisles and played with a bunch of REALLY nice passengers. She even stayed with a random woman when I went to the bathroom. She was a champ.

We brought nearly nothing with us, so all I had to schlep was her - we had one additional outfit for each of us, her sleep sac and frog, toothbrushes, a few toys and books and some food for the train. We went straight to Jeremy's apartment, where he was on a conference call for the next hour. His apartment is a one room studio - for single dude in downtown Toronto. The shelf, one foot up, with at least 15 bottles of alcohol, along with the next shelf up with a selection of glasses including martini, champagne, wine (both red and white), and a load of shot glasses - were not exactly ready for Sam. We had to do the quick 2 minute baby-proof and then Sam got to play in this totally inappropriate play area for a few minutes until I could get her to fall asleep for an hour or so. We then took a walk to an indoor garden and checked out the dogs in the dogpark on the way (highlight, clearly).

Shana came and got us and we took the subway to her house. Samara literally fit right in with her kids, Joseph and Sam. It was unbelievable. She didn't hesitate for a minute! She just went immediately to play with the other kids and explore the toys. She ate dinner with them, bathed with Sam (2 months younger than Samara) and went straight to bed. It was awesome. The next day and a half were spent basically on their floor. Samara loved being there, and I was absolutely in awe to see my little baby playing with my best friend's babies. Incredible. Sam and Samara even coordinated their sleep schedules to give us a full 2.5 hours to chat in the afternoon. Clutch.

I got to see Tamara and Becca as well, and we made it back to the train for our ride back to Windsor on Wednesday. Overall, it was a super easy trip, and I would do it again in a second!

Since Wednesday, Sam has developed a cough and a stuffy nose. Poor baby is still happy, but she's not sleeping so well, and she's full of stuff in hear head and lungs. Hope she gets better before our next trip on Monday!!

Friday, February 3, 2012

Uterine Woes

Since I last wrote, we have been running around planning for a sort of last minute trip to the US. The night before our trip to Tasmania, we got appointment with a doctor and flights to the US booked. At around 4am. We left the next day for 2 weeks, came back for four days then ran off to Bali and then had about three weeks before we left. It was nutty and a half.

I'm guessing that you already know about this if you read my blog, since it doesn't import into Facebook anymore (so I'm actually not sure anyone is left reading my blog?), but since this is also a journal of our experience, I'll explain.

I gave birth to Samara in October 2010 via c-section. It was nuts and I bled a lot right after, like a lot, and it didn't stop for a while. After calling the doctor multiple times in, oh, six weeks, and them saying it was fine and normal, and also rushing to emergency care a few times, they finally told me it was time to come in for my six weeks postpartum appointment. In a scan the doc saw a big piece of something. I had a D&C in Nov. During this D&C, the doc went in blindly (i.e. with no camera or anything so he can see what he's doing - as in all D&Cs), he scraped the crap out of my uterus to get out a 9 cm x 9 cm piece of placenta that had been left inside. 9 x 9. Left inside after a C SECTION (I'm pissed). He later told me it was a satellite (extra?) placenta, which is not common, so he didn't know to do a sweep with his hand before he sewed me back up after taking out Sam. I asked if there was any way this would affect my future fertility. He basically laughed and said no way.

Come June when I ran out of breastmilk in Bangladesh (no joke - sorry for the TMI if that's gross). I expected to get a period, and I never did. In July, at Michigania, I had this crazy pain in my abdomen for three days. Hurt to walk, or really do anything. I asked all the docs at camp and no one had any ideas, other than that it might be cramps for a period or that I should eat things that make me poop.

25 days later, in August, I had crazy pain in my abdomen. I called the doc and went in. He said, sometimes it just takes time to get a period - let's wait until October. 25 days later in September I got crazy pain. In October I went back to the doc and he told me I probably wasn't getting my period because my hormones weren't regulated yet. He put me on a 5 day dose of progesterone. I went back 10 days later - nothing happened. He then put me on a 21 day dose of estrogen. Not only did I not get my period, but I had the most pain I have ever had in my life - I was in bed, with a fever, unable to move and scared I was going to die - literally. I even made Matt come home from a party.

I finally went and got a second opinion. The second doc, Dr. Kumar, wrote down "Asherman's Syndrome" on a piece of paper and explained that my uterus had probably sealed together from all the scraping from the D&C. I looked it up, cried a lot, freaked out that we're never having kids again (which isn't necessarily true) and that I would be in pain for the rest of my life, got it together and decided to find the best uterus surgeon in Singapore. I asked around, and I ended up going to four people. For a mere $300, they each evaluated me with the same conclusion. Each said they are confident to do this, and that they do it maybe 2 times per year.

I did more research and I learned that the success of the surgery - to get my body working again and stop the pain, and also for future fertility (which is important to us) - completely depends on the experience of the surgeon and the severity of the condition. You can't know the severity until they deal with it, but I can know the experience of the surgeon. The websites also said that all docs will say that they can deal with this, but that you should go to the best of the best if you want success. We started asking around in the US and we came up with a few names, fairly quickly. Now that I'm in the Asherman's community, I know we came up with 2 of the top 6 doctors. One, in Boston, #1, actually, Dr. Keith Isaacson, was my top choice, but it was too difficult to deal with their office when you're 13 hours ahead. I was up until 4am for multiple nights in a row, and I still couldn't reach the right person or get them to just schedule an appointment for me. I moved to my 2nd choice, Dr. Glenn Schattman, and his assistant Una was amazingly helpful. Over the phone she explained the process and exactly how it would all work. He works in NY Presbyterian Hospital, and they have an office for people coming from abroad, and they helped me get a sense of the cost and helped me understand the logistics. We booked tickets with enough time for me to be here and heal, go for my immediate follow up visits, and then go back to Singapore.

So, 20 Jan, Matt, Sam and I flew off to New York. We were on the A380, which seriously made a difference, so the 24 hour journey wasn't even that bad. Sam played with other kids, played in the back area, up and down the steps and there was plenty of space. She even slept on us (unheard of). We arrived in New York and immediately were basked in generosity of friends and family. We were picked up at the airport - in the SNOW (first time in five years...) - by Eli, and taken to Matt's cousins, Jeff, Robin and kids in Briarcliff Manor in Westchester County, north of the city. The first day we trained in for 1.5 hours to see Bryan, Mandy, Ashely, Craig and Hallie - all the cousins on my side, and were so wonderfully hosted by Bryan and Mandy in their gorgeous apartment near World Trade Center. We felt that the older generation would be so proud that we met up for Sunday brunch. Sam LOVED hanging with her cousins (and the cat, obviously).

The next day we trained back for my first appointment with Dr. Schattman. He did his analysis and said that yes, I do have Asherman's - my uterus was indeed sealed for the entire 4.5 cm passageway from the cavity to my cervix. In addition, I was a disaster. I had multiple cysts, endometriosis (growth of the uterine lining all over the place) ALL over and that my Fallopian tube was a mess. He said this was going to be more complicated than originally thought. His fees tripled, the time needed tripled. Awesome!!!

We had to do pre-op testing, including a pregnancy test which just annoyed me, get prescriptions and go to about a hundred and one offices before we could head back. While we had left home at about 9:30 to go to a doctor appointment, we didn't get home until nearly six! I then had the pleasure of doing a bowel cleanse - mixing this nasty bottle of stuff with 2 huge bottles of lemon lime gatorade (NASTORAMA!) and drinking it all within about 1.5 hours. To be honest it wasn't as bad as I expected, but it wasn't fun. That day I also developed a stress related neck pain - pretty painful - which didn't leave until one week later. While you would think that surgery is scary, it was much easier to focus on the neck pain and bowel cleanse, as they were extremely inconvenient and really had nothing to do with the main point!

Tuesday, at 6 am, we left for the hospital. Jeff and Robin were so sweet to loan us their car and their babysitting services. Sam LOVED hanging with them, and they (especially Aunt Robin) were amazing with Sam. They figured out her food, her bottles, her books, they prepared their house for her - and got so many fun things that she loved - and she was in heaven. When we didn't come home until about 7 or 7:30 that night, we didn't even worry. She was in the best hands possible, and they were so happy to do it, which made it even more amazing for us.

We checked in, changed my clothes, even had to take out my nose ring. They did a whole bunch of questions, dealt with the neck thing - they have to put a tube down my throat, and they had to position my neck, so it turned out to be relevant - took some tests and generally told me exactly what would happen. It was so human (compared to Singapore). It was really nice.

In Singapore they wheel you into a hallway, then into an OR, then there are lots of people with masks and they put you out. Here they walked me up the OR, each person introduced himself to me, they had me lay down and told me exactly what would happen. We even got to joke a little bit. Then I went under for about three hours.

It took me a while to get well enough to go home, but all in all, the staff at that hospital were amazing and so respectful and helpful. We really appreciated the experience. Dr. Schattman said that with ultrasound guidance on the outside, he did hysteroscopy - using a little itty bitty camera and a loop that cuts, and while it was like going into a wall again and again, he found his way through the crazy thick scar tissue and re-created the passageway to my uterine cavity. After he did that, he said it was a total disaster in there. He then used laproscopy through my bellybutton and 2 other incision areas near my hip bones and cleaned up the rest. He was pleased with the results, but he said there is probably some permanent damage, and it's unclear how important that damage - to my Fallopian tube - will be. The good news is that my pain should go away and I am a normal functioning human being again. It's the fertility part that's iffy, but we're so lucky for my health that we'll stick with that for now.

He stuck in a balloon to keep it all open for a week, gave me a whole calendar of meds for the next month and sent me on my way. The next few days were really hard - I was REALLY sore, more internally than externally - but Uncle Jeff, Aunt Robin and their family were our saviors. They took care of Sam and me - we had so much loving food and just a wonderful home to hang in and recover.

Friday Matt and Sam went to Michigan. Matt said that it was okay, but that getting through security with 2 laptops, baby bottles, a baby and huge suitcases wasn't so simple. I took a train to the city. In my head I would just take the train to 125th, get out, grab a taxi and get to my friends, Ellen and Ari's apartment on the Upper West Side. I could really barely walk. I made it to the train, sat there, got off, took the elevator down (scary), and walked so so slowly out to the street. Shit - I was in Harlem. I forgot that it's pretty hard to get a yellow taxi in Harlem. It was rainy and wet, so I couldn't put my bag down. I was really in pain. It sucked. Finally a bus came, and I remembered that it went to the UWS. I jumped on, nearly cried on the bumps and made it until I saw taxis. I jumped out, took a taxi and climbed onto Ellen's couch. I didn't move.

Over the next few days I got to see so many people I love, and I felt like their love took care of me. I saw Eli, Erin and Joe from New Jersey, Sarah came in from Boston, Alex, David and Flora, Flyer, Margo, Ruthie, Terese and Max, Paul, Eli, Ellen, Ari and Davey, Laura from Connecticut, Tamara, Goldfein, was unbelievable. Ellen and Ari's hospitality was amazing.

By Sunday I was really feeling okay and was able to walk - even down to the 70s. I was staying in my old hood, near 94th and Columbus. I will write another post about what it was like to be back in New York, since that was significant for me. By Wednesday, for my follow up appointment, I was feeling really good - and ready to get this balloon out. He took it out and told me to do whatever activity I feel up to (minus a few things I'm sure you can think of). It was 60 degrees and sunny. I was in New York City and had nothing to do until 2:15 when I had to leave for my flight. I thought I would walk from 68 and York over to Madison and take the bus up. Then I got to Madison and thought that I could just walk (slowly, but still). Then I saw the park, and wanted to make a quick stop at 82nd and Broadway to get Davey Samara's two favorite books (Caps for Sale and From Head to Toe). I walked across the park, landed up at 85th, walked over to Broadway...then I remembered Zabar's down on 80th. Walked down there for a knish, went up to 86th and Columbus to meet Ellen, went to the park with her and Davey, and ended up walking back to her apartment. I couldn't have imagined I would have done that - even two days before. I felt great. I made it to the airport, got on an earlier flight to Detroit, arrived just in time to get about 20 crash hugs from Sam and have dinner with Matt's fam. Overall, a really successful trip and a crazy experience so far...