Great Expectasia: Real Life

We had visitors...I mean helpers for six weeks straight. My mom came when I was 39 weeks pregnant and stayed until Elie was a week old. (Remember our helper's last day was the day I gave birth!) My in-laws came when Elie was a week old and stayed until this past Wednesday, early morning, when Elie was nearly four weeks old. This means that Wednesday was my first day of "real life" with no helper and no helping in-laws. I had one month between helpers when Samara was three months old, but otherwise, I have had a helper since I had a child. And boy did they help.

Real life includes things like laundry, dishes, cooking, shopping, packing school bag, cleaning the house and other duties that I have not done (or not done very much - I have continued to shop and cook since I like those tasks) in THREE YEARS. Yeah, I was super spoiled for those three years, I fully admit it. And a lot of why we're not getting a new helper is because I recognize that this wasn't how I expected life to be with kids, and I wanted...needed to know that I can do it. I can be a mom and take care of our home without someone doing all of the dirty work. Mind you, I'm not one of those housewives who does it all - Matt is a super cleaning machine. He does MANY dishes, sweeps, mops, cleans bathrooms, launders, etc. much more than I do. But still - I wanted to know that WE could do it.

So Wednesday was busy - getting Sam to school was the hardest part for me, because she takes an hour of hands-on care to be fed, dressed, teeth brushed, cleaned, hair-done and taken to school. During this time I cannot feed the baby. And this baby does not like to be put down. Like ever. Once she went to school I had 3.5 hours of baby-only bliss, which included as many household duties as I could do with the baby in the ergo. Her afternoon routine usually takes about a half hour - home from school, wash hands, eat, go for a nap. This day it took an hour and five minutes, but we did it. And she has to sleep on her mattress on the floor since I can't lift (c-section...) her into her crib yet. (By the way, I know she's nearly three, but I have no intention of taking her out of a crib until she makes me. Having a kid in a cage at night and in the early morning makes my life so much easier - why mess with that?). The first day on her mattress on the floor I had to lead her back into her room probably about 20 times. I followed Weisbluth's advice of leading her back without engaging her - i.e. not giving her attention, and just closing the door. After being led back 20 times she danced and sang around her room for about an hour and finally went to sleep. All of the days since then she went straight to bed with no issue. In the afternoon on Wednesday we made it to a playground and had a little walk around the neighborhood. I would say it was a full success.

Thursday Samara woke up with a fever, so I had 11 hours of both kids at home without leaving the house. Sam watched a lot of TV, we played a little bit, we baked, she slept for about four hours and the day passed. Friday Matt took the day off (he had thought it was Yom Kippur so had taken it off earlier - good for me!), so we had a great day and two extra hands.

So far I have learned a few things:

Household stuff can wait - like the laundry can sit for a few hours in the washing machine, and it won't explode. Dishes can sit in the sink. Kids come first.
When the baby needs to eat, he really needs to eat - he has NO patience.
The ergo is a god send (which I already knew from Samara, but I never used it at home before). You can do almost anything with a baby in the ergo.
Samara is a champ. She's just a super sweet, good kid, and she's so fun to hang out with. It's such a privilege to have this time with her. And so far she seems to be adjusting REALLY well - other than the Cheerios episode in my last post (she is also on her third day of potty training, which she's also doing like a champ).

As long as we have no commitments out of the house and no extra obligations...ever...I think we can do this!

In other news, Elie is overall doing great. He is pretty kvetchy during the day, but he can be soothed so I know it's not that serious. He just likes to be carried. In the last few days, after he falls asleep I can swaddle him and get him into his bed for a little while, but mostly he wakes up pretty quickly, so ergo works best. He sleeps at night from about 8:30 until 7, waking up once to eat for about five minutes (he must be really efficient - it used to take Samara 20 minutes), sometimes taking a loud poo, and that's about it. Since he's sleeping (and therefore I'm sleeping) so well at night, I feel like we can handle whatever the day brings, so I can't complain too much. He's growing a LOT, out of newborn clothes and diapers already. We will weigh him on Friday, but I'm guessing he's near 5 kgs. He lost all of the hair on the top of his head and the rest is pretty wispy. He looks a little like a creepy old man with a comb-over on the top of his head. I have decided to try two weeks dairy-free to see if that helps make him less kvetchy. I am on my fifth day, so we'll see how it goes.

As mentioned above, Samara is now wearing underpants (Dora and Hello Kitty of course - she chose them). I woke up in a fit of anxiety three nights ago and realized that there will never be a convenient time - I was on bed rest, then I was SUPER pregnant, then the baby was born...but then we will be going to the US and I thought it might not be fair to potty train while on my parents' wood floor and Matt's parents' carpeted house. Then we're back for only a month, and then we're traveling again. So, yes, it will NEVER be convenient - so we needed to just do it. I told Matt that morning that Sam was just gonna wear underpants and figure it out. So far so good! She had one meltdown today when she had to poo and wanted a diaper, but we talked about it, read potty books, and I sat with her (and Matt sat with her other times...) and she went! I said, "Sam, I'm so proud of you." She said, "Mommy, I'm proud of myself!" I'm still not sure what we will do for the plane ride home, but hopefully we will be ok and not cause permanent damage.

We got tickets to come to Michigan for the month of October, basically. We can't wait. I haven't left Singapore since JANUARY. This is not my usual travel behavior, though the thought of travel exhausts me already...luckily we have our helpers back when we get to the US!!

Until I can lift and move properly, Matt gets to sit between two carseats in the back of taxis! Lucky guy! (note his Hello Kitty hat)

I had to cut the head and hands off of my chickens for Rosh Hashana dinner. My helper has always done this so well...such that I didn't even know that they came with them!!