When I was pregnant, I thought (a lot) about the lasting effects of coffee, cleaning my bathroom with chemicals, sushi, the mosquito spray stuff in the air, biking in Bali and many more things that I did or came into contact with that could potentially harm the baby. If I don't read to her in utero, can she still be smart? If we don't play music to my belly, will she still be happy? (we didn't do either, for the record).
Now that she's born there are WAY more things to think about. I DO have coffee everyday. I first thought that I would just drink it after I nurse, so it won't have such an effect, but then there are days like today where I get back with my coffee, and she wants to eat, so I nurse and drink coffee at the same time. Oops. I drink beer and wine, but only one bottle/glass, and only after she goes to bed when I know I have at least four hours before she will eat. I have eaten sushi twice (and I want it WAY more, but my doctor said, "can't you just not eat sushi for a few more months? Is it really worth it?" May be worth it...).
Then there are the things I do WITH the baby. Monday and most of Tuesday I had no voice. Matt wasn't home most of the time. This meant that no one (other than Ben the coffee guy and Rong his assistant) talked to the baby. No one sang to her. No one read to her. I was sure I reversed her development at least three days.
We got her a used mobile for her bed at a used stuff sale here. On the way home it broke. A new mobile here is about S$150, and I'm cheap, so there's no way I'm getting a new one. The one we have has three arms, and they don't actually move in circles as they're meant to. They sort of move a cm or two and then go back. Will this stunt Sam's development if the mobile does not complete its cycle?
Sleep is a big stress. If I let her fall asleep nursing, then will she never be able to put herself to sleep? If we bounce her to sleep on the ball (as we did until she was two months old), will she always need to bounce to sleep? If she's crying and not falling asleep, as she does during the day, how long do I wait before I go in? If I go in too early will she then expect it always? What happens then? If I don't go in when she's SUPER crying will she have an attachment disorder? Will she ever trust me again?
If she isn't stimulated all the time, will she still develop? Will she be smart? Will she read at six months? Walk at four?
Yeah - there are lots of things to think about, just like the thumb sucking in my previous post (which she has barely done since I posted that!). And I do think about the lasting effects. Most of the time I think for a second and then dismiss it and say, "Melanie! Don't be one of THOSE moms! Just go with it!" I'm working on it...
In other news, Samara has rolled over from her tummy to her back a couple of times. It seems to surprise her and then please her. She has also found her feet and she seems to be doing the "happy baby" yoga pose for a good portion of the day (see photo).
Matt has been working New York hours this week - going to work in the late afternoons and coming back at 7am. This stinks for him, but it also stinks for me. Once the baby goes to bed, life is extremely boring when no one actually comes home...I have read almost an entire book ("The Help" - loving it and will finish it right when I'm done with this post), watched "It's Complicated" and gone to sleep pathetically early.
And, most importantly, we have also made an offer to a helper, and she has accepted it. She is coming from an abusive employer who won't let her transfer to us, so she had to go back to the Philippines, but she should be joining us anytime from a week to three weeks from now. I will explain more about this disgusting system (and why she has to go back first) in another post. All in all, though, we are excited, and we're hoping this works out better than the last. All we want is to trust her with the baby...
On a funny note, her name is Rose. Our first helper's name was Belle. My Bubby (grandma) had two sisters: Rose and Belle...
Here's an album with a few new photos of Samara, and it will be updated regularly for the next few months. Email me if you want me to email you when I updated it (no pressure...).
I'm also posting two videos. One I posted on facebook a week or so ago, and the other was taken at the same time. This is just in case there is anyone who reads my actual blog (not the version that's imported into facebook). These videos are one of my favorite things in life. She did this all the time for a few weeks and hasn't actually had moments like this since last week, and I'm hoping that it has nothing to do with the fact that she got vaccinated and has been incredibly whiny since. Hopefully this is just a new (and SHORT!) stage in her communication and the vaccination hasn't taken away her ability to talk (see - I worry about the lasting effects of EVERYTHING!).
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