Bris in Singapore

I thought I should write about this now, since I might not have time later (or we might find out that it's not relevant - as we're having a girl!?).

Having a bris in Singapore is no easy task. Let me share our experience in setting up the infrastructure in case we find it necessary when the baby comes...

First, we met with the rabbi from our progressive community. He said that we can use a pediatric urologist that other people use, or we can just get it done by anyone. We can do it in the hospital and have a ceremony later - lots of options. I felt confident, until I emailed a Conservative Rabbi friend and an Orthodox Rabbi friend, and both said that you kind of really need the person who does the cutting to be Jewish, at least for it to be a halachic bris (a circumcision according to Jewish law).

That led to discussions between me and Matt that debated whether or not we thought this was important. Seemed like the baby would be Jewish regardless, since I'm Jewish, and that's REALLY all that's necessary...but I have a weird feeling about this stuff and want to make sure we do things halachikly (like our wedding) in case it ever comes up later, even if we don't care that much right now.

So, back to Jewish options...so I started asking around. Excuse me, who circumcised your son? Do you know anyone who has had a bris here in Singapore? Please tell me about your experience with this tradition (that I find DEEPLY troubling on a lot of levels!!!) and how I can do this to my potential child!?

I found that a few people that seemed normal had used this rabbi from Melbourne. Apparently he comes in on a specific flight, he is friends with the local rabbi, so he stays with him, and then he flies right back. He does it all the time...Okay. Sounds good. Matt got in touch with him, he sent us the link to his website, we found out he was chabad, but we decided it was all fine, and we would go with him. We just had to make it through the high holidays so he could for sure come.

Mission accomplished. We made it through. Then we found out there was a bris on Monday, after Yom Kippur, and I suggested that Matt go so he can meet the rabbi and see what happens at a bris (it had been a while). He went, he came back, he told me it was all fine.

Then, that night we were video chatting with my mom, and he said, "yeah, it was fine. Though he did touch his mouth to the wound, which was weird." He WHAT!? I flipped. My mom hung up. What? That's a horribly outdated tradition that I want nothing to do with (and to be honest makes me embarrassed to admit that my people do it at all!). I called our other friend who was there too and asked if this happened. He thought it did indeed happen.

Shit. 1.5 weeks till due date, and the rabbi we think can circumcise our maybe son isn't going to work out, and we don't know what other options we have...After doing some internet research, Matt emailed the rabbi and asked nicely if "metziza" is part of his tradition. The rabbi wrote back and explained that yes, that just means sucking out blood from the wound, which is required. But, it can apparently happen by mouth, by a sterile tube or by a sterile gauze pad. He said it's up to the parents.

Gauze pad please.

So - it got a bit stressful over here, but now it looks like we're good to go again. Phew.