Four Years and Time is Moving

Yesterday was my brother Kenny's yahrzeit (which by the way was a word in the national spelling bee. Should that be allowed? I think not!). A yahrzeit is a Jewish anniversary of death. He actually died on New Years, but in the Hebrew calendar it was the 7th of Tevet.

It has been four years.

When he died, at this time, four years ago, I was leading a birthright trip of college students in Israel.

The year after I was at my friends, Andy and Leslie's wedding in Indiana (though that wasn't allowed according to Jewish law...it was really important to me).
btw, Marla, I guess I would go to the wedding. I forgot about this one...

The year after that I was in Chicago. Matt and I had just gotten engaged, and we were celebrating that and my birthday with our friends. We went to some bizarre minyan there to say kaddish.

Last year I was leading a volunteer trip to the north of Israel. The amazing people on that trip, though SUPER late at night and so tired after a really long day, made a minyan for me, and I said kaddish. I think we even threw together a morning minyan.

This year, we met a friend for brunch, we played tennis with our other friends, and we ate salad. I guess it all feels really far away. I'm not in Israel which always reminds me of death now (for many reasons). I'm not in the cold, which reminds me of a cold funeral. I'm just still living in June, and I don't really have people around me who will/are able to remember with me. I'm not sure if this means moving forward or just spending a few years outside of my support network.

On another note - I am REALLY hoping that my (other) brother can get around this mad snowstorm. I don't really want to wait longer than Wednesday night, and our trip to Thailand definitely won't wait for us! Please - Jer - just drive to catch your flight out of Oregon or Washington or wherever it is!!! You must make it!!