If you see someone who you think might be pregnant, unless you have heard from that person or a super reliable source that they are indeed pregnant, please don't say anything about it. As I have had this experience three times in the last five days, it's starting to get to me.
All incidences have happened in yoga clothes, which are tighter than my normal clothes, so that can be a bit of consolation. Thursday evening in yoga class I had a new teacher, and at the start of the class, with about sixty people in the class, she looked at me and said, "Are you...are you pregnant?" I knew what was coming after the first part, as I had seen her looking at my belly before class. I should have interrupted her before she said the word, but I kind of wanted her to say it so that I could say no. At that moment, I wanted her to feel bad for asking. Not nice, Melanie. But not nice, yoga teacher, either. Right after that we went into breathing and relaxation "let everything go." Right - other than the question you just asked me, which sat on me the whole class. I did not let it go.
Then I was on the train home that night and a young woman stood up and pointed me towards her seat. I said, "no, thank you." She pointed again and said, "please." "No thank you," I said. Finally she pointed again and said, "I insist." "I'm not pregnant." She sat down and didn't look at me again.
Today waiting for my yoga class to begin I was speaking with a young American woman. "When are you due?" I must have mis-heard. "What?" "When are you due?" "Oh, I'm not pregnant, but don't feel bad, you're not the first to think I am. You're not even the first this week." She felt awful and even apologized again after class.
People have graciously offered me their seat on the train for the last three years, though not as often as it's been the last few weeks. I usually just kinda laugh at it and move on, accepting that I don't have and will never have a flat belly (and I never had one either...let's not pretend). Last week I was annoyed that it was socially acceptable for people to assume this or ask - blaming the askers. But the one tonight put me over the edge. It gave me motivation during leg lifts and other core exercises during the class. It will give me motivation with my diet (which is extremely healthy but could make a few changes) and maybe even to start doing some cardio (though I'm not sure when).
But - really - I just want to carry on, with my body as it is, doing what I do, without people bringing it up. Yeah - I had a baby six months ago. Out of my life, six months is nothing. But six months of having that baby out of me is a long time. Should my body look more like I was never pregnant? I don't fucking know. But I also don't want to care, so stop bringing it up. Just Don't Ask Until you're SURE. It's bugging me.
All incidences have happened in yoga clothes, which are tighter than my normal clothes, so that can be a bit of consolation. Thursday evening in yoga class I had a new teacher, and at the start of the class, with about sixty people in the class, she looked at me and said, "Are you...are you pregnant?" I knew what was coming after the first part, as I had seen her looking at my belly before class. I should have interrupted her before she said the word, but I kind of wanted her to say it so that I could say no. At that moment, I wanted her to feel bad for asking. Not nice, Melanie. But not nice, yoga teacher, either. Right after that we went into breathing and relaxation "let everything go." Right - other than the question you just asked me, which sat on me the whole class. I did not let it go.
Then I was on the train home that night and a young woman stood up and pointed me towards her seat. I said, "no, thank you." She pointed again and said, "please." "No thank you," I said. Finally she pointed again and said, "I insist." "I'm not pregnant." She sat down and didn't look at me again.
Today waiting for my yoga class to begin I was speaking with a young American woman. "When are you due?" I must have mis-heard. "What?" "When are you due?" "Oh, I'm not pregnant, but don't feel bad, you're not the first to think I am. You're not even the first this week." She felt awful and even apologized again after class.
People have graciously offered me their seat on the train for the last three years, though not as often as it's been the last few weeks. I usually just kinda laugh at it and move on, accepting that I don't have and will never have a flat belly (and I never had one either...let's not pretend). Last week I was annoyed that it was socially acceptable for people to assume this or ask - blaming the askers. But the one tonight put me over the edge. It gave me motivation during leg lifts and other core exercises during the class. It will give me motivation with my diet (which is extremely healthy but could make a few changes) and maybe even to start doing some cardio (though I'm not sure when).
But - really - I just want to carry on, with my body as it is, doing what I do, without people bringing it up. Yeah - I had a baby six months ago. Out of my life, six months is nothing. But six months of having that baby out of me is a long time. Should my body look more like I was never pregnant? I don't fucking know. But I also don't want to care, so stop bringing it up. Just Don't Ask Until you're SURE. It's bugging me.
3 comments:
It'like people asking me if my hair is so thin because I've been sick. No,it's because my mother and grandmother had tin hair. People just don't think before they talk.
I think that it was a Bill Cosby piece where he said don't ask a woman if she's pregnant unless she's crowning...I try to live by that rule. I am SO with you, Mel. UGH.
Aunt Phyllis - that's awful. And yes - they don't think (and I often don't too, but I wouldn't say these things!!).
Julie - who are you? And thanks for the support :)
Post a Comment