Caution: Long Post!
As mentioned in previous posts, just about nothing in the creation and gestation of this baby has been planned, or gone according to what we expected, even before it started. In the end, I spent so much energy keeping him in, that he didn't want to come out. So, as I mentioned in my previous post, we decided we would have a c-section last Friday (40 weeks +11 days), if I didn't go into labor before then. Coming to terms with this was really hard, as I wrote about...but I did it, and I was starting to get used to the idea.
...until I went to Tekka market on Thursday morning with my mom. We walked there and took the bus home (that's the responsible thing to do when you're trying to go into labor but then also carrying lots of fruits and veggies). On the three minute walk home from the bus stop, I slipped in a puddle, skidded a bit on the sidewalk and landed on my leg, with my upper leg going into the baby. Shit. (photo is from today, 5 days later)
I had fallen into the corner of our coffee table a few weeks ago (HUGE bruise and cut on the top of my belly, thankfully missing the baby but scaring me a lot). The doctor's office told me to rest, see if there are any contractions, if I lose any liquid or if I feel the baby slow down his movement. So when I called to say that I fell down but thought I was fine I was sure the answer would be the same. And it was for 5 minutes. I got home, started washing my wound with soap and then got a call from the nurse. She said the doctor wants me to go to the hospital immediately and get hooked up to a CTG machine for the baby. He wanted me to be monitored immediately once I went into labour because of all of the risks associated with my delivery, so I suppose I should have realized that. And I was ten days overdue...
I grabbed my purse with a book, my iphone charger, my medical docs, contact solution/glasses, snacks and water, said bye to my mom and helper (she was flying back to the Philippines the next day) and jumped in a taxi, aiming to be back in a few hours. Once connected to the CTG machine it was clear that the baby was fine and I was having contractions. I was 1cm dilated. After an hour of monitoring, they spoke with the doctor who confirmed that I was not going home. I got moved into a double room, as they didn't have any single rooms available. I walked and walked and walked (in circles in this tiny garden) trying to go into proper labor. It was Thursday afternoon, and if I didn't progress quickly, I was having the dreaded c-section (it became dreaded again once I realized it might not have to happen!) on Friday at 3pm. We would decide if we were going ahead with the surgery on Friday at 9am. Thursday evening I went down for monitoring, and I saw my roommate being rolled up from what looked like awful surgery. I was totally traumatized from my last birth and decided I was not going to spend the night in a room with a woman (who's relatives didn't respond when I said "hi" or "bye") who was recovering from awful surgery/birth. I would rather spend the night on the couch in the waiting room.
I grabbed all of my stuff and went down. I was still having contractions, but nothing exciting. Matt came to visit for a couple of hours around 9pm. They decided to monitor again at 11, and they said I could stay and try to sleep in the labor room rather than returning to my room. At midnight it was the same deal, and around 1am a single room became available. I got moved to the room and proceeded to not sleep all night.
At 8am I went down for monitoring again, and I was the same. The doctor came and helped me "decide" that we were having the c-section at 3pm. I would be ready by 2pm. I asked Matt to please come by 1:30. I had to start fasting right away, so I had no energy to do anything. So I waited.
At 2:10 someone came to get me and Matt and rolled us (me, really. He walked) to the operating theater floor. He got protective gear to wear, and I got prepped. Around 2:45 I got rolled into the theater itself. I had elected to be awake for the surgery (never again - not recommended), so I was to get an epidural. I had to roll onto my left side. Meanwhile, on the side of my left leg I had a HUGE scrape that super hurt. I also had a cold for the last week and nearly NO voice at all. So they're wondering why it's taking me so long to roll and I can't explain/talk, and I'm in so much pain. Just not convenient to have a c section when you have a huge boo boo and are super sick. I got a small shot to numb the skin, then I got the big epidural then had to roll onto my back, quickly (again - not so easy!). I felt my legs turn to pins and needles and felt so yucky. I wanted Matt there, but he wasn't allowed until I was totally prepped. Finally when he came in, I asked him to keep touching my face and hold my hand and tell me about our previous holidays (he remembers every detail about our trip to New Zealand, it turns out). The face distracted me from what I felt and didn't feel in the rest of my body. I felt a lot of pressure and generally hated the feeling of being numb. Plus I was so terrified of what was going to happen during the surgery (I had CRAZY amounts of bleeding at my last birth plus the worst recovery ever) and after...it just wasn't fun.
At 3:27 I heard a little, wet cry. We had a baby! He got put on the table, analyzed and whatever, then wrapped up and put on my chest. I couldn't believe I was looking at my miracle baby - who we never thought we would have and then had made it through so much, and he looked EXACTLY like Samara. After about a minute of some teary hellos, I begged Matt to please get the pediatrician's attention, since he seemed to have a lot of liquid in his breathing and stuff was coming out of his mouth. He was then suctioned down his nose and throat and then swept off to NICU, with Matt. I had an HOUR of more surgery and closing me up before it was over.
With Sam, I had placenta which was left inside me, and the doctor said it had seriously stuck to the side of my uterus. I had gone over again and again with my current doctor to please look for this, as in serious cases (it's called accreta) you lose your uterus and your life is at risk. It turned out that I didn't have accreta this time, but the placenta was indeed seriously stuck in one part, and I'm glad I didn't try to deliver vaginally. He wanted to sweep and sweep to make sure everything was out, not to repeat my last experience. He also looked around to see if my innards looked healthy enough to have another kid or if they were totally shot from their past few years' ordeals. He also wanted to do a stellar job of sewing up all of his work (apparently he's known for excellent c-sections - the nurses told me), so it took a WHILE. Finally, at 4:33 I was wheeled into a recovery area for a few minutes. I was totally conscious, and really ok, but I didn't know what happened with my baby.
I got wheeled up to my room, and Matt was there, but there was no baby. Elie was in the NICU (photo from the NICU), as they said he had "wet lung". They would monitor him for FOUR HOURS (that's an eternity in new baby time!), and it usually cleared up within a few days. After three hours they brought me a pump for colostrum, and I was worried that he had not yet latched, had any skin to skin contact, and that I hadn't really SEEN him yet...but Matt kept going back and forth, and he really seemed ok. He spoke with the pediatrician and convinced him to let Elie out (obviously if he had to stay we would have agreed, but he really seemed fine), and around 8:30 we finally got to spend some time with our baby.
Recovery this time was TOTALLY different to last time. I was up and moving the next day, while it had taken three days for me to get out of bed last time. I really felt ok. Yes - it hurts like a bitch, because it's major surgery, but I told Matt I felt like I had a c-section and not like I had been hit by a truck, which is what I felt last time.
Sam and my mom came to visit on Saturday morning and Sunday afternoon (photo of Sam with her gift from Elie). And Elie did a great job sleeping. I had to consistently wake him up after four hours to try to feed. Matt could leave a bit to spend time with Sam and give my mom a break, and I was actually ok.
We got discharged on Monday, and I felt like a normal person going back to normal life - which is NOT what I felt like last time. Again, yes, it hurts to walk, move or really do anything, but that's normal...
So far Elie (EH-lee) is pretty awesome. He is super cute and does a good job at being cute. He sleeps like a super champ (and even better now that we're home and have our straight-jaket swaddles. He broke every single swaddle at the hospital). He is a SUPER strong sucker (OUCH!!) and I think he's doing well at the nursing thing and his latch looks good, but I suppose I just need to build calluses or something. Holy painful. One thing that has taken us by surprise is the difference between changing boy diapers and girl diapers. And I'm not talking about the infrastructure. Nearly EVERY time we change his diaper he pees all over. The first time he pissed on his own face. We have gone through more laundry already than we did for Sam's first week, I think. We have a new solution for this, but it's still alarming. I can't say I wasn't warned by my friends with boys.
Sam seems to understand that she is now a big sister, that this is her brother and he's here to stay, and that mommy has a boo boo. She is having a FANTASTIC time with her Savta and Papa (he arrived on Sunday night) and doesn't seem shaken yet. She's fascinated with his umbilical cord stump. She picked out a Doggy to match her Froggy, which is her favorite guy that she sleeps with and is most attached to. Elie actually does seem to like looking at it.
I'm doing WAAAY better than expected, but it's still hard. I'm having a hard time sleeping (even when the baby is sleeping), so I have slept about 8 hours in the last five nights combined. Starting last night I have an EXTREMELY tight and knotty back, probably because of stress and the whole experience, but this makes feeding uncomfortable and sitting, lying, or really any position pretty uncomfortable. I had a massage today, I will have another tomorrow, and I hope it loosens up soon. I'm focusing on relaxing and not stressing about the upcoming few weeks.
Matt and my mom have been super champs - holding everything together, ensuring there is food, cooking, Sam's food, cleaning, helping me and Sam with EVERYTHING. Especially considering the fact that Alma, our helper quit when I was 39 weeks pregnant, and we asked her to stay until the 16th...we were sure we would have had the baby by then...doing this all with no help was not what my mom signed up for. I don't know what we would do if she weren't here. Seriously. I probably would have just stayed in the hospital because it was easier!
All in all, five days in, and everyone seems to be doing great. I'm just totally in shock that we have a new reality of a family, and I can't wait to really enjoy it without pain!
As mentioned in previous posts, just about nothing in the creation and gestation of this baby has been planned, or gone according to what we expected, even before it started. In the end, I spent so much energy keeping him in, that he didn't want to come out. So, as I mentioned in my previous post, we decided we would have a c-section last Friday (40 weeks +11 days), if I didn't go into labor before then. Coming to terms with this was really hard, as I wrote about...but I did it, and I was starting to get used to the idea.
...until I went to Tekka market on Thursday morning with my mom. We walked there and took the bus home (that's the responsible thing to do when you're trying to go into labor but then also carrying lots of fruits and veggies). On the three minute walk home from the bus stop, I slipped in a puddle, skidded a bit on the sidewalk and landed on my leg, with my upper leg going into the baby. Shit. (photo is from today, 5 days later)
I had fallen into the corner of our coffee table a few weeks ago (HUGE bruise and cut on the top of my belly, thankfully missing the baby but scaring me a lot). The doctor's office told me to rest, see if there are any contractions, if I lose any liquid or if I feel the baby slow down his movement. So when I called to say that I fell down but thought I was fine I was sure the answer would be the same. And it was for 5 minutes. I got home, started washing my wound with soap and then got a call from the nurse. She said the doctor wants me to go to the hospital immediately and get hooked up to a CTG machine for the baby. He wanted me to be monitored immediately once I went into labour because of all of the risks associated with my delivery, so I suppose I should have realized that. And I was ten days overdue...I grabbed my purse with a book, my iphone charger, my medical docs, contact solution/glasses, snacks and water, said bye to my mom and helper (she was flying back to the Philippines the next day) and jumped in a taxi, aiming to be back in a few hours. Once connected to the CTG machine it was clear that the baby was fine and I was having contractions. I was 1cm dilated. After an hour of monitoring, they spoke with the doctor who confirmed that I was not going home. I got moved into a double room, as they didn't have any single rooms available. I walked and walked and walked (in circles in this tiny garden) trying to go into proper labor. It was Thursday afternoon, and if I didn't progress quickly, I was having the dreaded c-section (it became dreaded again once I realized it might not have to happen!) on Friday at 3pm. We would decide if we were going ahead with the surgery on Friday at 9am. Thursday evening I went down for monitoring, and I saw my roommate being rolled up from what looked like awful surgery. I was totally traumatized from my last birth and decided I was not going to spend the night in a room with a woman (who's relatives didn't respond when I said "hi" or "bye") who was recovering from awful surgery/birth. I would rather spend the night on the couch in the waiting room.
I grabbed all of my stuff and went down. I was still having contractions, but nothing exciting. Matt came to visit for a couple of hours around 9pm. They decided to monitor again at 11, and they said I could stay and try to sleep in the labor room rather than returning to my room. At midnight it was the same deal, and around 1am a single room became available. I got moved to the room and proceeded to not sleep all night.
At 8am I went down for monitoring again, and I was the same. The doctor came and helped me "decide" that we were having the c-section at 3pm. I would be ready by 2pm. I asked Matt to please come by 1:30. I had to start fasting right away, so I had no energy to do anything. So I waited.
At 2:10 someone came to get me and Matt and rolled us (me, really. He walked) to the operating theater floor. He got protective gear to wear, and I got prepped. Around 2:45 I got rolled into the theater itself. I had elected to be awake for the surgery (never again - not recommended), so I was to get an epidural. I had to roll onto my left side. Meanwhile, on the side of my left leg I had a HUGE scrape that super hurt. I also had a cold for the last week and nearly NO voice at all. So they're wondering why it's taking me so long to roll and I can't explain/talk, and I'm in so much pain. Just not convenient to have a c section when you have a huge boo boo and are super sick. I got a small shot to numb the skin, then I got the big epidural then had to roll onto my back, quickly (again - not so easy!). I felt my legs turn to pins and needles and felt so yucky. I wanted Matt there, but he wasn't allowed until I was totally prepped. Finally when he came in, I asked him to keep touching my face and hold my hand and tell me about our previous holidays (he remembers every detail about our trip to New Zealand, it turns out). The face distracted me from what I felt and didn't feel in the rest of my body. I felt a lot of pressure and generally hated the feeling of being numb. Plus I was so terrified of what was going to happen during the surgery (I had CRAZY amounts of bleeding at my last birth plus the worst recovery ever) and after...it just wasn't fun.At 3:27 I heard a little, wet cry. We had a baby! He got put on the table, analyzed and whatever, then wrapped up and put on my chest. I couldn't believe I was looking at my miracle baby - who we never thought we would have and then had made it through so much, and he looked EXACTLY like Samara. After about a minute of some teary hellos, I begged Matt to please get the pediatrician's attention, since he seemed to have a lot of liquid in his breathing and stuff was coming out of his mouth. He was then suctioned down his nose and throat and then swept off to NICU, with Matt. I had an HOUR of more surgery and closing me up before it was over.
With Sam, I had placenta which was left inside me, and the doctor said it had seriously stuck to the side of my uterus. I had gone over again and again with my current doctor to please look for this, as in serious cases (it's called accreta) you lose your uterus and your life is at risk. It turned out that I didn't have accreta this time, but the placenta was indeed seriously stuck in one part, and I'm glad I didn't try to deliver vaginally. He wanted to sweep and sweep to make sure everything was out, not to repeat my last experience. He also looked around to see if my innards looked healthy enough to have another kid or if they were totally shot from their past few years' ordeals. He also wanted to do a stellar job of sewing up all of his work (apparently he's known for excellent c-sections - the nurses told me), so it took a WHILE. Finally, at 4:33 I was wheeled into a recovery area for a few minutes. I was totally conscious, and really ok, but I didn't know what happened with my baby.
I got wheeled up to my room, and Matt was there, but there was no baby. Elie was in the NICU (photo from the NICU), as they said he had "wet lung". They would monitor him for FOUR HOURS (that's an eternity in new baby time!), and it usually cleared up within a few days. After three hours they brought me a pump for colostrum, and I was worried that he had not yet latched, had any skin to skin contact, and that I hadn't really SEEN him yet...but Matt kept going back and forth, and he really seemed ok. He spoke with the pediatrician and convinced him to let Elie out (obviously if he had to stay we would have agreed, but he really seemed fine), and around 8:30 we finally got to spend some time with our baby.Recovery this time was TOTALLY different to last time. I was up and moving the next day, while it had taken three days for me to get out of bed last time. I really felt ok. Yes - it hurts like a bitch, because it's major surgery, but I told Matt I felt like I had a c-section and not like I had been hit by a truck, which is what I felt last time.
Sam and my mom came to visit on Saturday morning and Sunday afternoon (photo of Sam with her gift from Elie). And Elie did a great job sleeping. I had to consistently wake him up after four hours to try to feed. Matt could leave a bit to spend time with Sam and give my mom a break, and I was actually ok.We got discharged on Monday, and I felt like a normal person going back to normal life - which is NOT what I felt like last time. Again, yes, it hurts to walk, move or really do anything, but that's normal...
So far Elie (EH-lee) is pretty awesome. He is super cute and does a good job at being cute. He sleeps like a super champ (and even better now that we're home and have our straight-jaket swaddles. He broke every single swaddle at the hospital). He is a SUPER strong sucker (OUCH!!) and I think he's doing well at the nursing thing and his latch looks good, but I suppose I just need to build calluses or something. Holy painful. One thing that has taken us by surprise is the difference between changing boy diapers and girl diapers. And I'm not talking about the infrastructure. Nearly EVERY time we change his diaper he pees all over. The first time he pissed on his own face. We have gone through more laundry already than we did for Sam's first week, I think. We have a new solution for this, but it's still alarming. I can't say I wasn't warned by my friends with boys.
Sam seems to understand that she is now a big sister, that this is her brother and he's here to stay, and that mommy has a boo boo. She is having a FANTASTIC time with her Savta and Papa (he arrived on Sunday night) and doesn't seem shaken yet. She's fascinated with his umbilical cord stump. She picked out a Doggy to match her Froggy, which is her favorite guy that she sleeps with and is most attached to. Elie actually does seem to like looking at it.
I'm doing WAAAY better than expected, but it's still hard. I'm having a hard time sleeping (even when the baby is sleeping), so I have slept about 8 hours in the last five nights combined. Starting last night I have an EXTREMELY tight and knotty back, probably because of stress and the whole experience, but this makes feeding uncomfortable and sitting, lying, or really any position pretty uncomfortable. I had a massage today, I will have another tomorrow, and I hope it loosens up soon. I'm focusing on relaxing and not stressing about the upcoming few weeks.
Matt and my mom have been super champs - holding everything together, ensuring there is food, cooking, Sam's food, cleaning, helping me and Sam with EVERYTHING. Especially considering the fact that Alma, our helper quit when I was 39 weeks pregnant, and we asked her to stay until the 16th...we were sure we would have had the baby by then...doing this all with no help was not what my mom signed up for. I don't know what we would do if she weren't here. Seriously. I probably would have just stayed in the hospital because it was easier!
All in all, five days in, and everyone seems to be doing great. I'm just totally in shock that we have a new reality of a family, and I can't wait to really enjoy it without pain!
Elie chillin' in the hospital
Our new and improved family!
Elie curing his mild jaundice
Seriously, I'm pretty sure we have this photo of Sam and it looks the same.
Big sister! and Big Papa!
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