It's a weird time to move back to the USA. It definitely feels different. People feel down. Money feels stressful. Things are way more expensive. Education seems eh. It doesn't feel particularly hopeful...but here we are!
After my last post, we gathered kids from camp, had a wonderful end-of-summer experience and then began to settle back in Newton, MA.
I got Sam from a horse camp in New Hampshire. She LOVED it. I sent her to Michigan to spend time with Matt and grandparents. I got to visit Pam and Marc at their amazing house in the Berkshires. I saw friends, had doctor appointments and generally enjoyed some solitude. Then I got Elie and Koby at camp. Elie had an amazing time. Koby seemed to have fun, but he insists that he didn't. Then we all flew to Michigan. We had made a whole plan for me to then drive our car that was in Michigan back to MA, then Sam would go to another camp in NH, and I would fly back to Michigan (follow?), but her camp was abruptly closed (!!! another story...), so I was now in Michigan for a few weeks.
What better to do than adopt a dog!?
I had wanted to find us a new member of our family, perhaps in Sept or Oct, but when I started (briefly) looking into it in MA, I felt sick to my stomach remembering what had happened with us adopting Rainey. I know there are plenty of people and dogs who go through this matching process in New England, and they work out for a lifetime, but it made me feel gross. And when I looked at breeders, I also felt gross, because I didn't want to spend thousands of dollars and get a dog that probably had weird health issues that were being hidden from me. And I couldn't use my social capital doing research on breeders, because I had to use it for other things! We're moving back to a new life, and I have a lot of questions for people. Doing anything on the East Coast is a competitive sport - and this includes adopting a dog. There are so many consumers and few providers. But this is not the case in Michigan. Everything is easier in Michigan. So I looked on petfinder, and one particular dog jumped out at me. Her name was Ramona, and oh. my. god. she looked so so cute. I sent the link to Matt and asked him how he felt about getting a dog. He didn't respond.
I called the rescue that was finding her a home, and talked to one of the founders, as they only "service" people in southern Michigan, and I wanted to explain our situation. We are not there, but we're FROM there, and we're there all the time, and we will be there for two weeks. And would they consider us to be Ramona's family? Oh and also, we were a failed experiment in rescuing a puppy a few years ago, and it was a traumatic experience for all of us. The MA/MI thing they weren't super excited about, but they said as long as we were willing to bring the dog back to MI if things didn't work out, they would consider us. And the story of Rainey they said was actually a positive. They said we understood what we were getting ourselves into, and we had tried so so hard.
Matt and Sam and my mom went to meet her, and they liked her. The day after the boys and I flew to MI, we picked her up near Flint, and she came home to my parents' house. She was the sweetest puppy ever. Super polite. LOVED Savta. Loved everyone. And everything. We named her Maizey (as in "and Blue").
We took Maizey up north to Jer's house. She hiked. We biked. We ate. It was a great visit. We spent time with all the grandparents, and then Sam, Maizey and I drove back to MA and the rest flew back. And so began our new life.
It turns out the kids didn't remember Newton, really. They remembered certain things, but they didn't feel like they were "home" when they were in our house. They didn't really remember the back yard. They remembered some people. The house looked different and felt weird. Elie said he was more comfortable (and had spent more time) in an airport than our house. Fair.
We had one week to adjust, reconnect with friends, pick up musical instruments, fix appliances, tune the piano, go to the orthodontist, bring the dog to the vet, ride a horse, etc. Then they started school.
The first day was a disaster. Everyone came back shellshocked. They couldn't believe how disrespectful kids were to teachers. They felt like strangers (they were...). They missed their friends. Everyone was sad. We went for celebratory ice cream after the first day, but it did not feel like a celebration. The next few days definitely got better, but it's still rough going.
Sam is doing about as great as could be. She's getting to and from HIGH SCHOOL school on foot with a friend, usually. She hasn't been late (though they have a NINE o'clock start!!). She has worked really hard on her homework and gotten perfect marks on everything so far. She said she wanted to make a good impression on teachers. She's feeling good about things but super misses her friends. She's been riding horses as much as possible and she's trying this theater tech crew thing at school.
Elie is mostly doing well socially, though he is really disappointed academically. He is super motivated and really wants to not waste any time and learn learn learn. He has found a table tennis coach who he likes, he has started bar mitzvah tutoring, he is on a travel soccer team (and scored THREE goals at the last game!), he's playing saxophone and piano with a teacher, in the school jazz band, trying out the math team today, and he started hebrew school, which he absolutely hates and is threatening hunger strike if I make him return (stay tuned). He is mostly miserable but he's busy.
Koby is really struggling. His friends from before don't seem to recognize that he exists, so that was disappointing at first. He's finding new people, but this takes time. His teachers seem really nice and good, so hopefully he will settle in soon...It's hard to watch. He's also on a travel soccer team (and scoring and super fast), flag football team, and he said Hebrew school isn't as bad as it was in London (phew). He's less busy and also miserable.
Matt is returning to life in the 'burbs. Spending a lot of time commuting. His morning commute is short, because he leaves at 6am!!! But the evening sucks. And he tries to make it to soccer practice, where he's the assistant coach, three times a week! It's been lovely to have him involved more in the evenings. I often take Sam to horse riding in Sudbury and he does the boys. He's gotten the house together. Things put away (not my strength) and things on the wall (also not a strength, though I'll take credit for the mezuzot!).
And I'm slipping back in. I love my/our community here so much. Wonderful people with shared values. I connect with so many people and love our beautiful view and field and yard, and now the inside of our house is also quite nice! I LOVE life with the puppy. I'm loving not working (though still doing work for a small nonprofit and starting to think about what I want to do...I do want to do something...). I'm playing tennis one night a week. I'm running here and there, though I have a foot injury, so that's limited. I have been catching up with people. Organizing the kids' lives and figuring out all of the pieces in between.
All in all, it's really hard to rip kids away from their lives, move somewhere for three years, embed yourselves and then rip yourselves again away from that life and go back to the old one. The private to public school transition is not nothing. Leaving all of your friends and your daily routine is a big deal. Moving from the city to the suburbs and the different people that come along with it also feels significant. It all takes time.
